And you call this a table, this battered old school desk?

Bhutto was at Oxford with you may have given her that easy familiarity that breeds contempt. Sorry, I digress’. A Satire News exclusive. KT: ‘I say, old chap, have a care will you? You’re on a slippery slope. However, there were two notable exceptions. T. Can we hunker down to the questions?’ KT: ‘I like that, “hunker down”. And you call this a table, this battered old school desk? A pox on you’. KT: ‘I think I’ve conceded enough brownie points for one evening I’ll have you on my programme next and give you a taste of your own medicine’. Instead he agreed to meet us at our unpretentious office, over a cup of matka chai and dhoklas. A pox on you??’ KT: ‘Just an old English expression, when you want to curse or put the mockers on someone. Pip pip, toodle-oo, mud in your eye, and all that rot’. We downloaded it for free from Kindle. And speaking of salt, en passant, have you read my book ‘More Salt than Pepper’? Available on Flipkart, Snapdeal and Amazon. Tell us, of all the famous people you have interviewed on television, who were the most difficult?’ KT: ‘All of them. He speaks in clipped, Oxford accented English. Jayalalithaa’. What does it feel like, to be on the other side of the table, in a manner of speaking?’Karan Thapar (KT): ‘Mr. Impeccably dressed, suit and tie or bow tie perfectly synchronised to match his well groomed and distinguished silver grey hair. Went out of currency in the 18th century, but I am partial to a smidgen of Ye Olde English. So good of you to agree to be interviewed by us at our modest premises. J. Given our shoestring budget, we could not afford to invite the celebrated anchor to a posh 5 star location. Fire away’. That’s why my programme graphic features a sword cutting a swathe across the screen. My audience research tells me that most of my subjects squirmed a goodish bit under my close questioning. The cut and thrust of debate is never better exemplified than to cross swords with a pugnacious foe. T, if calling you that is not a liberty. KT: ‘No, they’re scrumptious, though I would have preferred fish fingers with mayonnaise. Yes, of course. As in, ‘Interesting you should say that Mani Shankar Aiyar, because at an election rally in your constituency in Mayiladuthurai (makes a complete hash of the pronunciation), you said just the opposite, and I quote…….SN: ‘Most interesting, but can you name some subjects who challenged even your formidable array of attacking arsenal?’KT: ‘Hmmm, nice one. KT: ‘You’re too kind. More to the point, we know not why. You described your premises as modest.SN: ‘It’ll be an honour, Mr. The late Benazir Bhutto and the equally late Dr.SN: ‘Both women’. Right, on with the questions. Calling me by my first name? It’s too soon.Karan Thapar is one of India’s most respected journalists. KT: ‘Idiot box, eh? Thank you for the compliment, though it sounded distinctly backhanded. His subjects find his burrowing and darting eyes a bit disconcerting, as if they were caught with their hands in the cookie jar. Don’t be fooled. Another couple of questions, and I must make tracks’.SN: ‘To get back to the two iron ladies, both of them really had you squirming, didn’t they? Your piercing looks and scathing irony did not impress them one bit’. Custom Galvanized stainless steel letter Signs Suppliers I see them as innocent sacrificial lambs. With our compliments’. But I do welcome your dripping sarcasm, which is what we love on the idiot box’. Makes for spicy television. You should have seen me at Oxford during the debates’.’ Given Karan Thapar’s notoriously elusive personality, Satire News’ dogged persistence finally paid off. ‘Array of attacking arsenal’. And please take this doggie bag of dhoklas with you. Won’t happen again, cross my heart and hope to die. We await his reappearance, in another avatar, with bated breath. T, but they certainly had your measure.Thapar to you, if it doesn’t put you out. Offence is my best form of defence, even if that meant being offensive. Let’s get back to your question, lest I be accused of dissembling. We proffer, with bowed head, our unconditional apology. Sometimes, I act submissive, but it is deceptive. And another thing. To say nothing of his unnerving habit of making pointed references to something the subject had said, and totally forgotten, several years ago.SN: ‘Extremely sorry, Mr. You are right, of course. Your acute powers of observation are astounding, my fine, feathered friend.Thapar. These diversions are pleasant but my time is precious. A technical knock-out’. You have a way with words. We hardly know each other. That’s one royalty fee up the spout. You have a natural bent for alliteration, my friend. KT: ‘How very perspicacious of you.’ KT: ‘Damn Kindle and its free downloads. Prepares the viewer for the thrust and parry’. This imagined conversation took place a few weeks prior to his departure. But Dr. From this point on, you’re on a timer. SN: ‘I daresay Mr.SN: ‘Er, thank you, I guess. There’s a special offer on. Jayalalithaa was something else. Suggest you order it eftsoons..SN: ‘Actually, we have already read the book Mr. The great man agreed to be interviewed in camera, which actually means without cameras, in the convoluted ways of the English language. By the way, I hope the dhoklas are not too salty’. She had you on the mat and you didn’t last the count. That is a very good description, if a tad understated. He is sharp, thorough in his preparation and To The Point, to accord his erstwhile television chat show its designated brand name. I select my subjects for their high degree of difficulty. Top that for alliteration!’SN: ‘Pugnacious, perspicacious? I’ll need a thesaurus. T.The author is a brand consultant who loves music, cricket and good humour.Satire News (SN): ‘Good morning, Karan. Sartorial elegance personified. Of course, the fact that Ms.’SN: ‘Righty ho, Mr. Could do with a lick of paint’.Karan Thapar’s ‘To the Point’ has been conspicuously off the air. No? Super